The Transgender Thread

Discussion in 'Sodom' started by Blank_, May 21, 2016.

  1. Blank_

    Blank_ Transgender Asshole

    Hey so there's more than one trans person here so I thought I'd make a thread to post about being all transgender and stuff.

    I have a blog at embybourne.Tumblr.com in case you want to read some transgender stuff and look at cute animal pics too. You can also take advantage of the ask box and ask me questions there if you want.

    So um hi, I'm transgender and I'm cute. If you try hard enough you can be too
  2. woooo' party thread

    I only just came to the conclusion im a lady monday night and I got an appointment to start HRT in October so Fun Times. Until then I get to be ~Undercover~ bc I'm a horribly anxious person.

    I don't actually have any questions yet but I'll make sure to ask if I have any!

    edit: also i kinda wish i could change my username on here it's REALLY awkward now lol
  3. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member Bürgermeister

    Lemme know what you want it to be, LL and I'll change it for you no problem!
    Also congrats!

    I always have tons of questions but I'm always afraid of stepping on people's toes. I've been accused of being a bad ally before because I'm very very bad at watching my language so maybe that's true. Either way I wish you all the best!
    And Blank, you already know you're sexy as hell, but I figured I'd restate it anyway.
    Blank_ likes this.
  4. I personally think as long as you're doing ur best and not purposefully making someone uncomfortable/hurting someone then you're fine, but that's sort of just how I feel about stuff in general LOL. As long as you're respectful I guess!

    Kinda sad that I gotta wait till October to get my first appointment but it's a few days before my birthday and ideally I'll either be self-employed or at a better job by then so basically it's a birthday present to myself.

    I'm really excited tbh, there's a bunch of fashion stuff and hair and whatnot I wanna try once I'm more comfortable with my body. Can't say I'd go out in public dressed at all fancy bc I'm EXTREMELY ANXIOUS/NERVOUS about being around unknown people even with people I'm familiar with.

    So many things I wanna do and all I really gotta do is WAIT and do somethings but I wanna do it NOW whiiiiiiiiiiine. At the least I can do hair stuff once my hair grows longer.

    also thanks for the name change AH o.< {that's me winking}
    Triangle Man likes this.
  5. Blank_

    Blank_ Transgender Asshole

    If you have questions I'll be glad to answer them as long as I have the energy. In the field of being a minority there's such a thing as "emotional labor" and it's basically the fatigue caused by having to justify your existence and educating people all the time. So please don't feel like you did something wrong if I need time or if I direct you to Google or some other online resource.
  6. ky

    ky comfort eagle

    *slides on in here*

    hey y'all. i'm still nb but i'm pretty closeted about it irl bc i'm a wuss :c (also i'm still figuring out like what, if anything, i wanna do about it)
    um i'm up for questions about that too though (emotional labor conditions still apply)

    anyway congrats to u Laura!

    edit: btw Blank i just followed you on tumblr but please don't look at my blog right now it's a shitshow u_u
    Last edited: May 22, 2016
    Blank_ likes this.
  7. NotAPumpkin

    NotAPumpkin Game maker and tie breaker

    I'm pretty much in the same boat as AH, I am always curious but probably have no idea what the hell I'm talking about and it would probably be emotionally draining to indulge me >.>

    I guess it's fascinating to me because while I have some emotional baggage about being a lady I wouldn't have it any other way?

    Man that reminds me I went to a Girl's Night Out thing for the first time and was incredibly amused and a little baffled by how "straight girl" it was. I forgot some people get like...married to the opposite sex and stuff. Weirdos.

    Anyway, off topic, you guys are cool and self-discovery is a very exciting journey! :D
    Blank_ likes this.
  8. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member Bürgermeister

    I cannot even imagine how nerve wrecking the whole process could possibly be, and I definitely don't want to stress anyone out by asking a bunch of dumb questions or make anyone feel like they have to validate themselves to me. Hell I answer to any pronouns and draw myself as a dude all the time, who am I to judge?
    I'm excited that you guys are excited though! Everyone should feel comfortable in their own skin, and feel free to discuss, or not discuss, any issues they'd like.

    Also oh my god NAP don't even remind me, I have so many wedding based parties this year and it's all babies, hair, makeup, boys, dresses. My kingdom for a ticket to a boys night instead, haha
  9. Blank_

    Blank_ Transgender Asshole

    If by "process" you mean, "the rest of your life" then yes
  10. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member Bürgermeister

    Sorry, I'd always heard of it being referred to as the "trasitioning process" when someone started on hormones/hormone blockers and the likes, I didn't mean to offend. I will gracefully now out of this thread now to prevent further missteps.
  11. ky

    ky comfort eagle

    ngl i totally thought that was like, your whole gender identity thing at first. even if it wasn't, it still got me thinking about gender as something like, flexible? for the first time really. that feels like so long ago now! it's weird what little things end up influencing you.
  12. Blank_

    Blank_ Transgender Asshole

    *grabs you at the door and spins you around*

    It is a transitioning process. It's also one that lasts your entire life. Now quit being a baby and hang out with the trans kids

    Or as I like to call them the cool kids
  13. NotAPumpkin

    NotAPumpkin Game maker and tie breaker

    I'll be honest, I have some feelings about this topic that will probably be unpleasant for people to deal with but I'd selfishly like to be rid of because I'm ashamed of them.

    I'd maybe like to hash it out with somebody in private before bringing it to this thread? idk

    This sounds bad but I really just don't want anybody to feel bad about issues that I'm sure already cause all hells kinds of indentity turmoil.
  14. Blank_

    Blank_ Transgender Asshole

    You can always message me
  15. NotAPumpkin

    NotAPumpkin Game maker and tie breaker

    Okay, I'll give it some thought. Thanks.
    Blank_ likes this.
  16. Almost Human

    Almost Human Mightest of the Drunks Staff Member Bürgermeister

    Buuut I'm a huge huge baby! It's all I am and all I know!
    Although I do want to hang with the cool kids....

    Well I'm glad if it had some positive effect! It's something I really go back and forth on every day of my life. I hate prettttty much every single thing about being female and if there was a checkbox you could check to have been a guy instead I would have done it without a second thought.
    That being said I'm also in no position to change any of it, it's just not an option for me, and with my ribs being all messed up I can't even throw on a binder and play pretend any more, so I'm trying to embrace it.
    Some days it works, some days it doesn't.
    So I wear dresses offline and biceps online. It's my little compromise, haha.
    Triangle Man and Blank_ like this.
  17. Blank_

    Blank_ Transgender Asshole

    AH I've wondered since I meet you whether you were trans or not. Personally I think you're genderfluid at the very least, but that's up for you to decide.

    Me, personally, I'm not a fan of the gender binary, so I identify as genderqueer simply because I don't adhere to, or care about, the trappings that make a woman a woman.

    Except for boobies. Goddamn its great to have those.
    Triangle Man likes this.
  18. Likewise Blank_. Though I definitely would prefer to present much more feminine then how I currently look but eh, give me a year. Will definitely get a more gender-neutral/feminine leaning haircut next time i get it cut tho.

    The only thing I really am not looking forward to is dealing w/ my family once they know. Yikesville awaits there afaik.
  19. NotAPumpkin

    NotAPumpkin Game maker and tie breaker

    As somebody who is comfortable with the gender I was born with, I really don't have a right to post this but I'm gonna anyway because I'm a dumbass

    It's just a lot of negative feelings that I have and I'm sorry

    I feel a considerable amount of resentment towards being female, but in a twisted sort of way I own that and it's mine and I wouldn't have it taken away from me.

    I think both genders are kind of bullshit. As a guy you're conditioned to be emotionally closeted, obnoxious, and arrogant, and as a woman you're supposed to be docile, catty, and dependant. None of those things appeal to me. I take pride in being more emotionally developed, more empathetic, and mature than most of the guys I know, and being adorable is extremely fun, but a lot of traditionally girly things really baffle and frustrate me. I just wish society didn't condition people as much I guess? I worked in a toy store once and I was SO MAD about how all the toys were very clearly meant for one gender or the other.

    I don't know if it's especially important to me to be of either gender, but for me it's less of how I feel, and more of how my experiences forged who I am:

    I'm a girl because I can't walk places alone at night.

    I'm a girl because I have more social obligations than my brother.

    I'm a girl because I get interrupted in conversations with men and don't know if I'm allowed to interrupt them back.

    I'm a girl because people smile at me and hold doors open and call me cute, and I have to be careful in case they want something from me I'm not willing to give.

    I'm a girl because I'm supposed to get married and have children.

    I'm a girl because my abilities will always be doubted, physically and mentally.

    It's probably different for everybody. I dunno. Life gave me lemons and fuck lemons, but at least they're mine. I earned those fucking lemons. Which is, uh...a shitty attitude. I'm not proud of it at all.

    Although when it comes right down to it I've never been uncomfortable being a girl, just really resentful. I think all that resentment gets in the way of me being able to really understand trans people...I can't identify with the feeling of being uncomfortable with my own body, so I don't have anything I can relate to it.

    Uhhh....this is sort of what I was talking about earlier. Anyway I want to get over it because trans people are rad as fuck and my irrational feelings won't get the better of me on that. I'd really love help in not being the absolute worst about this issue.

    I'm so sorry if this makes anybody feel bad :<
    It also makes me feel bad???? If that helps????
    Blank_ likes this.
  20. Blank_

    Blank_ Transgender Asshole

    Honestly, if society didn't condition us as much as it did, there probably wouldn't be nearly as many trans people.

    For that matter, most non-binary identities wouldn't be trans identities at all.

    But, you know, this is the world we live in and that's the one we have to deal with.

    But here's the thing: those things you described do not define you as a woman. Those are just expectations hoisted onto you by society. You're only a woman because you say you are. I mean, if we're going by your standard, I'm mostly a woman because all of those things apply to me, too, except for the social obligations and the marriage thing. But that's not what defines me. I'm a woman because I say I am and no other reason.

    And you know? You're right, you earned those lemons. Being a woman in pretty much all of society is a shitty, thankless job. Trans women get a different bag of lemons to carry around, though. Trans women don't grow up as men, they grow up as trans women.

    You don't resent being a woman, you resent all of the shitty things society has done to you because you are a woman.

    We're not here to play dress up and then hide when the going gets tough. There are much easier ways of doing that than being trans, believe me.

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